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Coming off Rocky’s birthday last week and Tough Enough earlier, RAW starts with Ricardo announcing Alberto Del Rio. Alberto parks his car on the left rather than the right. Alberto’s pyro in 1959 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. Cole is screeching over Josh and King.
Alberto into the ring. Alberto introduces himself, but we already knew that. We know his destiny to be World Heavyweight Champion was stolen by Edge. Destiny can be delayed, but not stopped. He doesn’t understand why so much time was wasted for the Rock. Last week should have celebrated Alberto’s arrival. The WWE champ, is Cena. We know there’s no one better than Alberto. So the man who should face Cena is – Ricardo announces Alberto again.
Rey’s music hits and he comes out in red and yellow, sans pyro. No mask for any kids, but high fives and comments to the kids on the way by. Into the ring Rey tells Alberto that he’s no more worthy of a Championship Match than Rey is. They were both drafted to RAW. Rey tells Alberto the same thing as before. Alberto’s destiny isn’t to be a Champion or the greatest of the great. His destiny is to be the ring announcer for Ricardo. Ricardo lit up with a smile. Rey challenged Alberto to a #1 Contender Match.
Alberto calls Rey a Chihuahua. If earning means beating Rey for the thousandth time, then –
Miz’s music hits and he’s out to the ring in his new Awesome shirt and trunks, A-Ri wearing the same. Teddy might have let things like this fly, but not on RAW. This is still Miz’s show! The WWE Championship is his Title. If it wasn’t for the staggering incompetence of his assistant last week, he’s be standing here Champion.
Alberto tells Miz he had his chance and couldn’t get the job done. Now he goes to the end of the line. Miz says he did get the job done, pinned Cena and was announced the WWE Champion. Then the prejudice ref changed the decision. Miz didn’t know what A-Ri was going to do. Instinctively Miz used the strap before Cena could use it on him. Miz wants a legitimate rematch with Cena. Rey and Alberto can fight in a Taco Bell parking lot for all Miz cares. The only person who should be facing Cena for the Title is Miz!
R-Truth’s voice and he comes out to the stage, then to the ring. No music, no pyro on his way out. R-Truth says they all cain’t get along. Since they’re all spilling hate, let him spill some of his own. Know what he hates? Hospital food. It’s dry as a desert, smells bad and tastes bad. You never get it when you really want it. You know who’s eating hospital food right now? JoMo. That’s because last week R-Truth did this to him. Video of R-Truth’s attack on JoMo on RAW last week. R-Truth says he put a beating on JoMo so bad he has to have surgery. If they don’t believe him, go to WWE.com. R-Truth wants to shoot out to JoMo. PS, hospital food gives you constipation. Know what else is true? He doesn’t have any trouble making sure the rest of them are hooked up to the same IV. Can use the same bed pan too. Doesn’t matter if you’re a pretty boy from LA – looking at Miz. Doesn’t matter if you’re some Super hero wannabe from San Diego – Rey – then called him bottle nose (no clue what that means). And it doesn’t matter if you’re some pompous Mexican fence jumper, liver lips! This stops Alberto’s laughter. R-Truth says when an angry black man is talking, you’d better shut it up. He’s not waiting in line like the past ten years. He sees and opportunity, he’ll take it. Kick his dog, then he’ll kick your cat! Who’s going to face that lily white John Cena? R-Truth! And that’s the truth!
Ding-Ding! Cole on his ipad! And I quote, “Despite all the compelling arguments to be number one contender, I find only three of deserve it. Tonight we’ll have a Triple Threat Match to see who will face Cena at Over The Limit. Miz, I agree with your assessment, you do deserve a re-match. You’re in. Alberto, you’re the crown jewel of the Draft, so your in. As for the third competitor -” R-Truth bounces around and says it’s him.
Ding-Ding! And I quote, “Sorry, I got so excited I hit send too soon! As for the third competitor, due to his victory last week, the third competitor is, Rey Mysterio.”
R-Truth looks pissed! Again? He yells! It’s happened to him again. He’s better than every last one of them, especially Rey – he steps up into Rey’s face and stares down.
Rey says for once he’s agree with the GM, R-Truth shouldn’t be in that match. That’s what’s up. That’s what’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. R-Truth leaves the ring, still looking pissed and slightly deranged. He talks to himself on the ramp, starts seething, then looks around at the fans. He walks up the ramp, still talking to himself.
In the ring Miz tells them to listen to him carefully. He doesn’t care what they accomplished on Smackdown. Here they’re day laborers, chump change, bench warmers. The star of this show, the WWE Universe, the next WWE Champion is – Alberto cuts in with his own name. Alberto laughs, then ari attacks Al. Ricardo hits a drop kick on Mary. Alberto goes after Miz, clotheslines Miz and himself over the top. Miz and A-Ri end up on the ramp. Rey flies out onto Alberto to take him down. Rey celebrates in the ring.
– Commercial
WWE Slam Of The Week – Kharma to the ring, Kelly looked scared, but it was Maryse who took the implant buster.
The Bellas (Nikki & Brie) vs. Eve & Kelly Kelly
The Bellas in black and silver. Eve out in salmon and gold. Kelly out in yellow/gold. Josh talks about Kelly on Maxim 100.
Kelly and a twin lock up. The other twin distracts and Kelly is taken down. The other twin tags in, they double team Kelly for two. Kelly slowly and methodically hit tilt-a-whirl head scissors on Nikki, then slaps her on her ass. Kelly then rushes over for a cheap shot on Brie on the apron. Kelly nails Nikki with a handspring back splat, then bulldog. Brie tires to pull Nikki out of the ring. Baseball slide from Eve stops it. Nikki rolls up Kelly, but Kelly reverses it for the three.
Winners – Eve & Kelly
Kharma’s music starts and she comes out to the ring. The Bellas run up the ramp hand in hand. Kharma into the ring. Kelly flees, but Eve goes after Kharma from behind. Kharma drops Eve, then Kharma out after Kelly who runs. Kharma heads back for the ring, big smile on her face. Kharma pulls Eve to her feet, sets her up and nails her with an implant buster. Kharma to her feet, flips her hair back and that maniacal laughter/music starts again. Video of Kharma’s destruction.
Kane and Big Show backstage, heading for the ring, gold over their shoulders.
– Commercial
Mason Ryan w/ Punk vs. Kane w/ Big Show
CM Punk’s music. He comes out, but it’s Ryan who’s wrestling. Video of Ryan destroying Kane and Big Show last week. Kane’s music and they come out to the ring together.
Kane behind Ryan. Ryan flings Kane off. Upper cut to Ryan, but can’t whip him. Kane whipped, but comes out with blows. Ryan backed into a corner, the ref backs Kane off. Ryan out with a huge clothesline. Ryan chokes Kane on the second rope. Ryan with Kane on his shoulder. Slams him back first into the corner, then slams Kane for two. Kane ducks a clothesline, then nails Ryan with an upper cut, then another. Drop kick to Ryan’s knee, then another to his head. Kane pins for two.
Kane on the apron. Kick to Ryan, but then Punk kicks Kane in the knee. Big boot to Ryan. Punk hides, on his knees, behind a ring post. Big Show runs around the ring, pulls Punk up and hits him with a WMD! Punk doesn’t move. Ryan sent flying over the top. McGillicutty and Otunga to the ring. The ref calls for the bell.
Winner – Kane via DQ? No Contest?
Kane takes out McGillicutty. Big Show choke slams Otunga over the top and out. Kane and Big Show double choke slam Ryan. Big Show and Kane all pumped up. Kane calls for his fire from the four corners. McGillicutty is trying to wake up Punk. Big Show and Kane hold their straps high.
– Commercial
Santino vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie
Santino in the ring, all silly. Vickie comes out in a way to short khaki shirt dress, and announce the ‘new and improved’ Dolph Ziggler!
Dolph push as Santino. Right from Dolph, then blows to Santino on the mat. Dolph slams Santino, then drops an elbow. Forearm to the back of Santino’s head. Santino comes back with a forearm to the face, then a hip toss. Santino sets up for a cobra, but turns right into a drop kick from Dolph. Zig/zag from Dolph and he gets the three.
Winner – Dolph
Dolph leaves the ring, Vickie talking their way up the ramp.
– Commercial
Smackdown Rebound – Christian showed up as WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Edge told Christian to enjoy that moment, he earned it. Christian went on to thank his Peeps (of which I am)! Henry out for a shot at Christian, then Khali. Orton came out for a shot. Teddy out and asked the fans what they wanted. Of course they chose Orton! Orton and Christian shook hands. They locked up and gave the fans one heck of a match! In the end Orton hit a sick RKO to win and became the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Christian in the ring looked beaten, destroyed.
Josh says it wasn’t fair that Christian had to defend so quickly. This Friday we’ll find out the fallout.
Backstage R-Truth’s dressed to leave, headphones on, talking to himself. Scott Stanford stops R-Truth for a comment. R-Truth says he’s getting emails from parents wanting him to go back to singing. He says those kids can go back to private school. He’s not taking R-Truth seriously. He’ll take care of them all on his own terms. No more, and that’s the truth. R-Truth comes back and tells Stanford to say ‘what’s up?’ Stanford does and R-Truth is only more pissed.
Backstage Cena’s learning the fist pump from Ryder. He leaves Ryder who stand at the end of the Hall fist pumping long after Cena walks off!
– Commercial
Video of Cena versus Miz. A-Ri sets the strap in the ring. Miz wins the match, but then A-Ri lets the strap get noticed by the ref. the ref reversed the ending.
Backstage Miz watches the video clip and is pissed. A-Ri starts explaining he didn’t know Miz had the strap in that hand. It wasn’t his fault the ref changed the match. Miz tells A-Ri that he knew what to do. But he hugs Miz, then raises Miz’s hand! Miz calls A-Ri an ameba, the lowest form of life. Maybe A-Ri is a troglodyte. A-Ri is sorry!. Miz doesn’t know why he allows A-Ri in his presence. A-Ri will make it up to the Miz. A-Ri goes off to do this.
The camera goes with A-Ri as he walks through the backstage. A-Ri then comes out on the stage. No music, but some decent heat for him without Miz! A-Ri into the ring. He calls for a mic, then looks around like a goober. He knows what they think of him and doesn’t care. The only person he cares about is Miz. He’s going to prove it to the Miz right now as he’s challenging Cena to a match. Cena can’t hear him? He gets it, he’s the Miz’s poor little apprentice and couldn’t do Cena any harm! Let’s go John, get out here Cena! A-Ri throws the mic up the ramp onto the stage!
A-Ri vs. Cena
A-Ri goes after Cena but is taken down. They lock up and A-Ri eats a snap mare. A-Ri tries to kick Cena but eats a hip toss. Cena rushes A-Ri, but eats corner, then a clothesline for two. Blows on Cena on the mat and A-Ri pins again for two. Back suplex to Cena for two. Chinlock on Cena on the mat. Kick to Cena, but then Cena back with two shoulder blocks, then a slam to A-Ri. Five Knuckle Shuffle and ‘vintage’ Cena. Miz out to the ramp. Cena nails A-Ri with the AA. Miz at the bottom of the ramp, so Cena feeds A-Ri another AA. Cena locks on the STF and A-Ri taps out.
Winner – Cena
Cena stares out at Miz who stares back. Miz looks unhappy, then glances to A-Ri on the mat. Cena holds his belt high, directed at Miz.
– Commercial
Cole in the ring wanting everyone’s attention. He has a very important announcement. Having defeated King at WM and Extreme Rules, he realizes he can’t get any higher. So he’s publicly announcing that he’s retiring from in ring action. He knows he’s retiring as the only undefeated Superstars in WWE history and most beloved of all time. When he gets inducted he wants it to be as a broadcaster and in-ring competitor.
King cuts Cole off. Cole reminds King of the stipulation on King. King says that didn’t extend to the Rock last week. Since he’s in the ring, he thought he’d liven things up a bit. Video of Rocky shaking hands with Cole. Rocky hit the Rock bottom, then the people’s elbow on Cole. King says it’s very entertaining. But if the day were to ever come that Cole was inducted into the HOF, then life as we know it would cease to exist. Maybe there’s a way. If Cole was to defeat King in another match, King would personally induct Cole and give Cole his HOF ring. Cole smiles at this one. But he doesn’t think so. Cole leaves the ring, heads to his Mine, then up on his desk.
Cole says King couldn’t let him retire in peace. Had to steal the spotlight. What makes everyone from Tennessee sore losers. Gore lost to Bush and still complains. What about the Elvis fans who won’t believe he died on a toilet. Then there’s King who can’t let it go. He lost at WM and Extreme Rules. No matter what, King couldn’t change his mind. Yesterday was Mother’s Day. He flew his mother in, has brisket and tea. Then they went and watched WM. Over and over again when Cole dissected King In the ring. There’s nothing better than to spend the day with your mother. What did King do for Mother’s Day? Then Cole suddenly ‘remembers’ that King’s mother passed away in February.
That was enough for King. From the ring, then trying to get to Cole. Swagger is suddenly there, grabs King and slams him head first into the ring post. Swagger and Cole celebrate this.
– Commercial
Video for Be A Star.
US Championship Match – Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston (c)
Swagger in the ring. Kofi bounces out, smile on his face.
They dance around, then lock up. Swagger uses some of his amateur moves, they go back and forth. Side headlock takeover on Kofi. Swagger keeps hold for a bit. Swagger back with the lock on Kofi’s waist. Cole says – beep, beep, beep, beep, we interrupt this broadcast with this very special bulletin, Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler is in pain. I repeat, Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler is in pain.
Kofi struggles free, but then a kne to Kofi’s gut. Kofi ducks a couple Swagger clotheslines and nails him with a flying forearm on Swagger. After a drop kick to Swagger, he leaves the ring. Swagger back in, Kofi on the apron and eats a forearm to send him flying to the floor.
– Commercial
Swagger has Kofi’s arms wrenched back. Kofi free, but then slammed to the mat. Kofi then slammed back into a corner, then set up top. Kofi on Swagger with blows, then a kick. Swagger comes back with a knee to the gut. Swagger uses the corner to splash Kofi, but Kofi gets his knees up. Kofi goes for trouble in paradise, but Swagger moves back out of the way. Kofi up and lands a flying cross body for a long two. Swagger send Kofi over the top. He hangs on, skins the cat, but Swagger locks on the ankle lock. The ref counts as Kofi still has the ropes. Swagger lets go, but did the damage. Swagger’s lip is busted open. Kofi up top, then Swagger tosses him across the ring. Kicks to Kofi’s ankle, but then King is on the stage. King is pissed, walks out slowly. Distracts Swagger enough for Kofi to hit TIP for three.
Winner – Kofi
King grabs Swagger under the ropes and drags him from the ring. King sends Swagger over the barrier and out. King then goes after Cole and his Mine. First a rolling office chair goes in over the top. King then grabs Cole’s tie and pulls it through one of the holes in the side. King slams Cole, over and over, into the inside of the Mine. King slams Cole about 25 times before the refs come. Cole’s plastered to the inside of the Mine, hysterical face! The refs pulls King clear. Swagger goes to Cole’s rescue, gets him out of the Mine.
Swagger grabbed a mic and ranted that King did it, he’s fired! King’s done it, he’s fired! King grabbed a mic and said he didn’t touch Cole, only his tie. King just made Cole a first ballot HOFer. On behalf of Cole, he accepts! Cole on the stairs doesn’t look very happy about this. Swagger talks Cole up, but Cole doesn’t want this, why did Swagger do that? King climbs on announce and poses for the fans who cheer as Josh asks if Cole will prevail against over Lawler. Josh says King said if Cole wins King will induct Cole and give Cole his HOF ring! (Won’t Cole get his own HOF ring if/when inducted?)
Video of Orton and the rest from his film at the Santa Barbara Film Festival. Orton’s thrilled, as are the others in the film. They’re the centerpiece film. Both of the kids were nervous about their screen kiss.
– Commercial
#1 Contender Triple Threat Match – Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Miz
Alberto is already in the ring. Rey out to huge pop, gives a child a mask, then gives his shirt to another kid. Rey into the ring as Alberto rolls out. Rey poses on a corner. Miz out, seemingly by himself, to the ring.
Miz after Rey who ducked. Rey on Alberto, then on Miz. Miz grabs Rey who pulls his legs up, kicks Alberto with them, then Miz to the mat. Rey takes both Alberto and Miz down, set up for the 619. Alberto sends Rey sliding from the ring. Alberto locks on behind Miz. Rey on Miz on the apron, then crawling all over Alberto’s body to pin, but Miz breaks it up. Alberto slammed into a ring post, then Miz on Rey. Rey whipped into the corner that Alberto is still lolling on. Miz rushes them with his clothesline to Rey, but feet going out through the ropes takes out Alberto too! Miz pins Rey for two.
Snap mare on Rey, Miz keeps the hold on. Rey kicks at Miz’s knee, then his face. Feet up into Miz’s face. Miz in position for 619, but Alberto trips Rey. Alberto sends Rey flying from the ring. Miz and Alberto work the mat with holds and pin attempts. Miz and Alberto double clothesline. All of them are down!
– Commercial
Alberto rips at Rey mask, but up to kick Miz from the apron. Rey whipped, but gets a foot up. Rey runs the ropes, but into a sick back breaker! Alberto pins Rey for two. Alberto out and slams Miz into the ring post out there. Alberto back in and kicks Rey in the head. Alberto pins for another two. Chinlock on Rey. King talks up Rey in a HUGE way! Knees to Rey’s gut, then to his thigh. Alberto goes to run the ropes, but Miz pulls the top rope down.
Miz in over the top, but Rey manages to take Miz down, then a springboard leg drop on Miz for two. King gives Miz credit for being so tough. Miz pulls Rey face first into a buckle pad. Kick to Rey’s gut, then Miz whips Rey, but Rey moves and Miz eats corner. Alberto pulls Miz out of the ring, then clotheslines him. Rey then flies from up top onto Alberto who was gloating.
Alberto back into the ring. Rey in and comes off the top with a seated senton on Alberto. Springboard cross body on Alberto for a long two. Head scissors sends Alberto flying across the mat. They continue fighting as Miz climbs a corner. Miz sends Alberto flying into Miz to know him to sitting. Rey rolls Alberto up for two. Rey up, sits on Miz and head scissors him to the mat. But then Rey right into Alberto’s arm stinger. Alberto on Rey with the cross arm breaker. Miz in and tries to kick Alberto in the face, but he ducks, letting Rey free.
Alberto grabs Miz and rolls him up for two. Kick to Alberto’s gut, then a sick seated DDT on Alberto for two. Rey wiggles from of a SCF, then kicks Miz from the ring. A-Ri rushes to Miz’s side outside. Alberto grabs Rey, flips him up, but A-Ri on the apron distract and Rey reverses. Alberto lands in the 619 position, but tackles A-Ri from the apron in the process!
619 on Alberto. Miz on the apron and then nails Miz with a drop kick landing Miz back on the floor. Rey goes up, drops onto Alberto, but before the ref can count the three, A-Ri pulls Alberto from the ring, by his arm. Miz rushes in and pins Rey for three.
Winner – Miz
Rey is not happy about how this ended. He’s kinda pissed. Video of Rey’s almost win, then Miz pinning Rey for three.
Cena’s music hits and he comes out behind A-Ri and Miz on the apron. Cena says he’s there to congratulates Miz. He did it after he beat Cena for the Title. When Miz loses all he has is excuses. Miz won’t have excuses, no DQ. There will be no count outs. Also, no submissions or pinfalls. Miz wants to be champ again, all he’ll have to do is make Cena say two words. At Over The Limit Miz will face Cena in an I Quit Match. Miz looks pensive about this.
In the ring R-Truth appears and slams Rey to the mat face first. Off mic R-Truth yells that that’s what’s up!
Biggest pop
Jerry Lawler
Cena
Rey Mysterio
Kane/Big Show
Biggest heat
Cole
Miz/A-Ri
R-Truth
Alberto Del Rio