RAW this week starts with a video and pictorial recap of SS. The Cena and Orton match. Cena gets hit with the RKO but can’t get the cover. Cena hits the FU and covers for three.
Orton comes down to the ring. He looks rather annoyed. He gets a lot of heat while in the ring. He grabs a mic and says he spent the entire day in church. He’s convinced he witnessed a miracle. Cena walking out of SS still the WWE Champion. As he was on his knee he had an epiphany. “Cena” chant. He says he had the match won. He should be WWE Champion. The guy who needs to be on his knees praying is Cena. He needs to thank God he won last night. He needs to thank God Orton didn’t end his career like he did all the others. Next time Cena won’t be so lucky. There will be a next time as he’s demanding a rematch for the WWE Title. Cena has two choices. One, come out and accept his challenge. Or two…
Cena’s music. Cena comes out with a big old grin on his face. Cena hugs his father before getting in the ring. The fans are going bloody wild for the hometown boy. Cena asks what will happen if Cena doesn’t give him a rematch. Will he whine and complain. He was face to face with destiny and couldn’t get the job done. All the bravado of being a third generation superstar, at SS with everything on the line he still failed to get the job done. No hard feelings, Orton’s been whipping his ass for weeks. RKO after RKO, making a statement. Cena has one of his own… “The Champ is HERE!”
Cena’s not saying he’s not getting another title shot. He lost last night so he moves down and others move up. There was one person who made his triumphant return to the ring. The building is sold out – In Boston – So, if the fans don’t get to see Orton against Cena 2, then what about Cena against HHH?
Regal’s music and he comes out to the stage. Regal says he won’t be facing HHH. Orton thanks him. Regal says Orton won’t be facing him either. Cena will be in action. There’s someone of majestic stature who wants to give someone else to talk about. Regal introduces King Booker.
Booker and Sharmell come out to the stage. Cena doesn’t look too happy about this, shakes his head.
Orton goes for a cheap shot. He tries for an RKO and Cena tosses him from the ring. Orton yells at Cena from the ramp while Cena holds his title high in the air.
– Commercial
Kennedy comes down to the ring. He fumbles the mic when it comes to his grasp. He says, “I meant to do that!” He then announces himself. Jeff Hardy comes out to huge pop to face Kennedy. Jeff’s hair is much shorter, just below his ears, and red.
They bounce around trying to lock up and finally do. A side headlock on Jeff. Jeff reverses the hold. Jeff gets backed into a corner and Kennedy doesn’t give a clean break. Jeff is again in a corner. Kennedy bitch slaps Jeff during the break. Jeff slaps back. They get into a slap-fest. Jeff gets the crowd clapping, but Kennedy gains control. “Hardy” chants. Jeff pulls Kennedy’s feet out from under him in a corner. Kennedy lands fairly hard. They lock up and Kennedy knees Jeff a couple times. Some stiff elbows and kicks in a corner. Jeff comes back with some brute force of his own. Kennedy lands in a sitting position in a corner. When he gets up he ends up flying over the top rope. He lands on the apron but Jeff baseball slides his feet out from under him. Jeff flies out and takes Kennedy down.
– Commercial
Kennedy has body scissors on Jeff. He’s hitting elbows to Jeff’s head. Jeff fights his way from the hold. Jeff tries to fight back but gets tossed into the ring post. Kennedy goes outside and pulls Jeff’s side around the ring post. Kennedy re-enters before the end of the count and stomps Jeff. Kennedy covers for two.
Jeff starts to fight back but can’t gain control. An abdominal stretch on Jeff. Jeff gets slammed, up-side-down, into a corner. Jeff is sitting up top facing out. He elbows Kennedy from behind him. Jeff flies off the corner. Kennedy gets a boot to the face, but Jeff lands hard – badly – on his upper back/shoulders/neck/head area.
Kennedy gets tossed into a corner. Jeff climbs. Jeff goes for a swanton, but Kennedy gets his knees up.
Umaga’s music and he stomps out. Umaga enters the ring and Kennedy quickly leaves the ring. Umaga paces the ring screaming while Kennedy backs up the ramp. Umaga kicks Jeff in the face and wails on him in a corner. Kennedy encourages the assault. A bum slam in the corner followed by a Samoan spike and Jeff is a lump in the ring. Umaga’s getting huge heat.
– Winner: Jeff Hardy via either DQ or count out
– Commercial
JR (who’s mic is wonky) and King talk about HHH and Booker last night. Video and pics of their SS match.
Vince and Coach are out back talking about Vince’s big announcement on the Cabana tonight. They walk up on Kennedy. He tells him he did a good job tonight and to watch out for Umaga. He asks if Kennedy knows Vince’s middle name is Kennedy. He says he does. Kennedy wishes Vince a belated happy birthday. Kennedy walks off. Vince says Kennedy’s a nice kid and heads off leaving Coach looking on with a strange look on his face.
– Commercial
Carlito is in the ring for the Cabana. He says it’s the coolest Cabana in history. His guest – Mr. McMahon. Vince comes down to the ring – strutting, of course. Vince has a mic and says it’s a pleasure to be on Carlito’s Cabana. He wished Vince a happy Belated birthday. He says he’s 50 and still growing. Even his grapefruits are still growing. They have to with this whole bastard thing going on. But he’s Mr. McMahon.
Carlito says he’s intimidated right now. He’s shaking.
Vince says he has the woman who gave birth to his child. If he doesn’t give up the child’s name in two week he will sue for emotional distress. They both start yelling that every one should do what Vince says.
HHH’s music hits and he comes out. He looks much thinner and hotter than ever (give me a break – I’m a girl!). HHH spits his water and gets in the ring to huge pop.
Vince yells at the fans to shut up and they just get louder and louder. Vince asks what the hell he’s doing out there, he wasn’t invited.
HHH says this is the reaction he gets after all this time. He’s out here celebrating his 75th birthday. He should be worrying about going senile or changing his bed pan, but he has to worry about this bastard child. Never fear, HHH is here. He had plenty of time to do research while he was out. He searched high and low. He narrowed the list down to four women. He brought them here to solve his dilemma. He understand he hasn’t seen these women in over 20-25 year.
The first woman he slept with at WM3. He was really drunk and thought she was Aretha Franklin, but she’s a checkout girl. A BIG black woman comes out to the stage.
The second he was intimate with her for a while, until a mishap. Now she’s known as One-Eyed-Wendy. A fat blonde with an eye patch comes out. Vince says it was an accident.
The next one is embarrassing too. It’s embarrassing for both of them. It’s Carlito’s sister. A thin woman with huge hair, a Hawaiian shirt and an apple. Vince says Carlito was only four and they thought he was asleep. HHH asks what’s the deal, she’s not spitting.
The last one, he truly believes is the mother of his bastard son. That night she was known as Frances, but she’s normally known as Frank. A large “woman” in a spangled dress and blonde wig.
HHH asks them to raise their hand of they slept with him. They all do. He asks them to raise a hand if they might have had Vince’s son. Frank doesn’t. HHH asks them to raise their hand if they have a penis.
Vince throws them all off the stage. HHH’s not happy that he gets his guests tossed out after he was being so nice. Especially after the new problems that came out today. Everyone knows! Vince is running an illegal rooster fighting ring. People outside have signs saying vine hates animals.
Vince says he loves animals.
HHH says he hates cats.
Vince says he loves them.
HHH says he hates dogs.
Vince says he loves dogs.
HHH says he hates horses.
Vince says he loves horses.
HHH says he hates roosters.
Vince says he loves roosters.
HHH says Vince hates cock.
Vince says he loves cock…
Vince says he hates HHH and leaves the ring. Carlito goes off on HHH and threatens him. HHH says he doesn’t have to kiss Vince’s ass like that. He knows Carlito has spit a few apples, but has also sucked a few grapefruits.
Carlito takes a huge bite of apple and spits it in HHH’s face. HHH smiles at the fans and camera before he throws a punch that drops Carlito a couple more punches and a spine buster. HHH rips off his shirt and hits a pedigree. HHH poses for the fans who are going bloody wild.
– Commercial
WWE Stay In The Game Moment – Cody beating Shelton, but Shelton and Haas beat down Cody after the match.
Haas, Benjamin (who’s breached blond) and Daivari are in the ring. Cody Rhodes comes down to the ring. London and Kendrick come out to join him.
Daivari and London start. They lock up and London gets a hammerlock on Daivari. Daivari gets out. Brian tags in and covers for two. Brian runs into a hard elbow. Haas tags in. Belly to belly on Brian. A kick to Brian and Haas covers for two. Shelton tags in. A suplex to Brian for two. A headlock on Brian and he’s dragged into the heel’s corner. Daivari tags in. He hits a cheap shot on London but Brian is able to tag in Cody. A knee to Cody’s face. Cody hits a power slam for two. The other two heels enter, but London and Brian take them out and fly over the top. Cody hits a cross body on Daivari and covers for three.
– Winners: London, Kendrick & Rhodes
– Commercial
Daivari is in the ring ranting in his native tongue. Cryme Tyme Tyme time comes out. JTG gets the fans going, then ask Daivari what he’s staying. Shad says no one understands him. But the fans know the like to make that money, money… They attack Daivari and steal his head piece. They think maybe of selling it for $100, but sell it for $5.
Cade and Murdoch come out pissed. They call Cryme Tyme Tyme into the ring. They’re about to get into the ring but then steal Cade’s hat. They run off through the crowd with it. They get up high. Shad says normally they’d sell it, but tonight they’re giving it away. They dance with the fans.
Out back Vince says he was humiliated out in the ring. Coach says HHH will be punished.
Orton rushes in. He wants Vince to over-rule Regal and give him Cena. He gets right in Vince’s face.
Vince says he’s an extraordinary athlete, but he doesn’t deserve it. He needs to prove to Vince he deserves it. Vince wants him to show that he deserves it. Until then… No!
Maria is heading for the ring in a red sequined bikini top and a sleeveless silver sequined hoodie.
– Commercial
Slam of The Week – The Diva Battle Royal at SS last night. Beth won after tossing out Michelle McCool.
Maria comes out wearing black pants to finish off her sparkly outfit. King is ogling the Diva magazine.
Beth is suddenly there in her usual black jumpsuit. No bell has rung, but Beth is beating the hell out of Maria. She gets Maria up in an over head hold.
The ref screams at Beth to leave the ring. He takes care of Maria as Beth backs up the ramp smirking and looking evil. She’s one big (not fat), tough woman!
– Commercial
Grisham is out back with Candy. He asks about Beth and what’s she’s done. How does she think she stacks up to Beth. Candy says she’s not intimidated. Snitsky is out side the camera angle mocking her. Snitsky says it’s a challenge to know when to stop causing pain. Pain is his pleasure.
Vince says he doesn’t think he’ll have to wait two weeks to find out who his son is. Regal comes in and says he needs to keep Vince on top of all the happenings. He doesn’t want to say it in front of Coach.
Next week Vince’s whole family will be at the show with their lawyers to confront Vince.
Booker and Sharmell are heading for the ring.
– Commercial
Video review of SS.
Booker and Sharmell come down to the ring to heat. Cena comes out to his ‘hometown’.
They lock up and Booker is backed into a corner. A couple knees to Cena’s face but Cena comes back with punches. Booker gets his face bounced off the top turnbuckle. Booker gets slammed for two. Cena gets chopped a couple times but ducks a back elbow. A fisherman’s suplex on Booker for two. An arm bar on Booker. Booker gets to his feet but punches Cena to the mat. Cena comes back with punches. Cena goes for the STFU, his father cheering him on, but Booker gets to the ropes. Booker rolls from the ring.
– Commercial
Cena get hung up on the top rope. Booker is in control. Cena is slammed to the mat. Booker covers for two. A mule kick during the commercial gave Booker control. Cena runs into the top turnbuckle then gets kicked. Booker cover for two. An arm hold on Cena in the center of the ring. Cena gets to his feet. A forearm to Cena’s face and then a fist and Cena’s down. A kick to Cena’s gut. Cena hits a spine buster for two. Booker gets whipped but gets his foot up into Cena’s face. A sidewalk slam to Cena for two.
And other arm hold on Cena in the center of the ring. Cena gets to his feet and out of the hold, but gets kicked in the face. Booker covers for two. Booker is getting some serious heat from the crowd. Booker goes for his scissors kick. Cena takes him down but Orton rushes the ring and attacks Cena.
– Winner: Cena Via DQ
Booker and Orton double team Cena. An inverted back breaker form Orton. Booker then hits his scissors kick on Cena. Orton is pacing the ring waiting for Cena to be in the right position. He’s wanting to kick Cena in the head. The ref is trying to keep him back but can’t. Orton runs in to kick but stops before he does.
Orton leaves the ring and pulls Cena’s father over the barrier. While his father is on the floor Orton gives him a kick to the head. Orton quickly leaves and everyone rushes to Mr. Cena’s side. They call for a stretcher as the show goes off the air.
Biggest pop
Cena
HHH
Jeff Hardy
Biggest heat
Orton
Vince
Booker & Sharmell